I once dreamed of being THAT mom. You know, the mom who never experiences labor pains after having five kids. The mom who changes her curtains every season. The mom with a perfectly manicured lawn who volunteers for every committee and still finds time to bake low-calorie cookies for every school function known to suburban man.
I’m a happily married mother of two and I adore my kids. But I promise you, I’m not this mom. Nor will I ever be. I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried through the years. But I endured so much pain when I had my children, I nearly changed my middle name to “Epi.”
My curtains never match the season no matter how hard I try. We have enough pine trees in our lawn to destroy any semblance of a plant let alone a color-coordinated garden. And as far as my sought-after family chocolate chip cookie recipe, you’ll want to run to the nearest treadmill after reading the ingredients.
No, I’m not THAT mom. I’ve worked full-time, part-time and been a stay-at-home mother through the years. I’m had my share of muting conference while locking myself in the bathroom so I can escape the sound of giggling children in the background.
And I have to say, there are times when I can’t keep up. I can’t keep up with those moms who strive to be the perfect mom. Between play-dates, after-school activities, homework, cleaning, mowing the lawn, working, writing and doing the laundry, I find it refreshing to NOT try to be so perfect and celebrate my mommy imperfections.
When I giggle out loud about what I do wrong, I discover a deeper connection with other moms. From fellow mom bloggers to moms literally in my own backyard, I’d rather hear a woman admit she burned dinner because her dog barfed on her toddler than learn how to remove red wine from plush carpet. (Although, that tip might come in handy.)
Unless you’re a robot Stepford Wife with a Barbie Doll body and Martha Stewart-like tendencies, I’m pretty sure you’ll agree. We’re all in the same boat. So why not stop putting pressure on yourself to be so perfect and laugh a little? Pull out the cheese dip and start swapping those mommy whines.
Comic relief is good for mommy sanity. And it’s even better on a cracker.
Jackie Hennssey is the author of HOW TO SPREAD SANITY ON A CRACKER: Mom-to-mom whines, rants and recipes. When she’s not carpooling her kids around or gabbing with other moms in the Barrington Books’ parking lot, she works as a pr consultant and pens a mommy blog at www.ventingsessions.com. She lives in Barrington, Rhode Island with her husband, two children and Golden Retriever, Marley, who has become known as the Hennessey’s third child.
Jackie will be signing copies of her all-new book:
HOW TO SPREAD SANITY ON A CRACKER
at Barrington Books on
Thursday, April 26 from 7-9 pm!











































